In an earlier post I discussed the myth that a baby will be spoiled if it’s picked up or held too much. The answer is an emphatic NO! The opposite is true. Babies who are held more in their first year of life develop a stronger sense of security and belonging. I held my infants to the point where I had in-laws telling me I shouldn’t hold them as much and I should let them “cry it out” sometimes. NOT TRUE. https://www.babble.com/parenting/cuddling-babies-study-benefits-touch/
Infants don’t cry for no reason. They can be hungry, tired, need to be held, need to have a diaper changed, and they CAN be bored! DANG! 32 years ago baby kangaroo carriers were made so that the infant faced inward toward the mother. My daughter wanted none of that from a very young age. (If you could see my face, you’d understand why.) LOL I had to face her outwardly and it was so uncomfortable. THAT wasn’t enough either–I had to talk to her constantly and tell and show her everything I was doing. She became an appendage. At age 32 I have put her down and she’s on her own. LOL
The first developmental asset is a sense of family security. In cases of extreme neglect, infants who aren’t attended to adequately when they cry or otherwise indicate they need attention learn mistrust and can reach the point where they can never trust the affection of others. This can negatively impact a person’s ability to form intimate relationships throughout their different life stages and into adulthood.
Another way to interrupt an infant’s development of a strong sense of security is the environment of the home. If there is nearly constant turmoil in the form of fighting, arguing, and other kinds of discord, an infant can sense and understand the negative environment which can also create a sense of insecurity. BABIES DO KNOW.
Every family experiences at least occasional outbursts of negative communication. It’s something that is unavoidable but, when it happens, it’s important to make sure that infants and children are not involved and do not directly witness fights.(https://www.parentingscience.com/can-babies-tell-when-parents-are-fighting.html) As much as possible, we adults should be aware of little ears and make sure they’re not in the room and can’t hear the arguing. Our wee ones need to feel that they’re in a secure family filled with mostly love. SO, go ahead and pick them up with reckless abandon when they’re newborns and keep the adult fighting confined to places and times when the young ones are not within earshot. All I am saying is “Give security a chance.”
What have been some of your experiences with your infant? What works for you when Baby is crying? How do you contain parental discord (fighting) so your infant is not a witness? Please share your stories.
POSITIVE KIDS 